The Glorious Resurection of Nick's (non-academic) Writing Pursuits!

Contrary to what an unwitting blog-surfer may gather from the grandiose tone of my first title, the resurrection of my blog is truly not any kind of a glorious matter. I should say, the perception of it being a "glorious" matter is not something shared by any significant number of people--nor by a modest group of readers from the blog's original incarnation. In fact, there is not a single soul on this earth for which Textual Neurosis v.2 will mark any sort of glorious return! "And yet" says hypothetical unwitting, blog-surfer, "you unabashedly grant it such a title?" To which I reply..."keep reading, my friend, for time will unveil the delicate features of this perplexing mystery!"

With observant eye and keen wit, it is--I assure you--entirely possible to happen upon the few loose fibers that line my otherwise impeccably crafted titular tapestry; however, I ask you not to entertain the ridiculous fancy that I have left such loose ends out of carelessness--No, no. Carry on while fully minding my perfect deliberateness. I see you now, dear readers, wrestling with its loaded meaning. I see the piteous defeat lingering in your eye as you realize the full extent of my cognitive and creative power. So, permit me to guide the way for you.

1. Observe my subtle parenthetical insertion of "Non-Academic." This blog is my opportunity to shake the rigorous forms of academic writing. I will employ such unconventional, flavourful devices as the under appreciated "dot, dot, dot"...I will place dotdotdots randomly throughout my writing to increase ambiguity and, therefore, enhance multi-interpretability. And. I shall dabble in the awesome power of the single word...sentence...To solidify my credibility as a cultured individual I shall spell words as the English do. I will not always coherently segue between two thoughts. Sentences will be short and meaningful. And, finally, I will use plenty of irony, satire, and sarcasm in all of my writing...and, when I speak of such things as irony, satire, and sarcasm, I will act as though I know the difference between the three. Whichbrings me to my next point...
2. "Glorious resurrection" is satirical.
3. The title suggests that I have pursuits in writing. As a recent college graduate who has been dumped into one of the finest economic situations our nation has seen since the 1930's, I will pretend that the pursuits of this writing are to provide an outlet for the effects of uncertainty and mild depression. Really, though...I want a freaking book deal. I want someone to see this blog and say, "holy crap, these short stories and anecdotes are the most brilliant thing I've read since Poe." And scattered throughout this (soon to be) POWERHOUSE blog of short stories, I will insert chapters from the novel that I'm working on which will--I assure you--be the next great all-American novel...minus the words that use British spelling. I'm also going to disable comments from my many English major friends. I will have no critiquing of my work. As a psych major, I know that dissent from a (JEALOUS!) minority will cause deeper processing and then more scrutinizing of my perfect works.

Now that I have sufficiently alienated you, the reader, by talking down to you and using big, unexciting words, I ask that you, the reader, enjoy and go easy on my stupid stories....you, the reader. And know that this blog is my feeble attempt to stay busy and develop a hobby while I'm finding internships and jobs and what have you. Let me know what you think. If you are one of my English major friends (or anyone else for that matter) and you care enough to read, feel free to give me advice or tips.

First stories coming soon...